How Do You Manage Your Resistance to Therapy?

A contemplative moment as a woman reflects on her hesitations about therapy.

There are recurring themes for people who want to start a therapeutic relationship for self-development, trauma-informed space, and to improve their life harmony.

The most common therapeutic goal is an experience of having a confidential and safe space to work through what is happening a person's world. This could be the narrative which causes automatic thoughts or negative belief systems around relationships with loved one, work colleagues or within yourself. Similarly, there can be an interpretation from a loved one, friend or workplace that you could be ready to start work with a talk therapist. I name these clients as visitors because of the concern coming from one, or more people.

For some who want to manage the resistance to therapy, it could be that shame is the driver for being in the room doing the work. This is where the brain and body often use denial, avoidance and repression in trying to survive. I am very fortunate to support the community of Torquay, Paignton and Teignbridge within other professional roles, and it is often a key part of the work that we look at substance misuse and unhealthy coping strategies to unlock the resistance to therapeutic interventions.

It is within the weekly group therapy that I often geek out to talk about stress, explicit memories and memory deficit within trauma-informed responses people experience. You see, there are often clues in the psychodynamic work that suggest the explicit memories can be societal, especially if you recognise yourself as someone who is neurodivergent, and/or in the queer community. When working with the resistance to therapy, we explore the triggers - be it healthy or unhealthy - to see defence mechanisms around arousal and state-dependent memories that exist, or stay hidden within you.

So how does that work then? I here you ask.

As a counsellor and psychotherapist, I use the integrative approach of humanistic, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and psychodynamic techniques to address coping strategies which hold you back or hinder the harmony in life. On a personal level, these tools have worked for me, where there was resistance to therapy in 2008, as I am a person with lived experience in this field. I often explore negative biases together when they reflect on our foundational work in getting to know them. We then develop a reflective narrative of the past, present and future self while working compassionately to develop recollections and personal interpretations.

As a professional - and person - the work often centres back to negative reinforcement of past experiences that make up implicit memories that aren't always linked to parenting. This is where ethically appropriate trauma-informed care can help learn how ‘The Body Keeps Score’ which is a pivotal text I recommend for all clients to read. Finally, I would add that because each person is seen, valued and heard in session, I really appreciate how the resistance to therapy can improve neurology and work towards the healing process of cognitive and emotional rehabilitation.

Therapy isn’t for everyone - at least, that’s what many of us were told. In Teignbridge, Torquay and Paignton, I work with neurodiverse and queer people who’ve tried to do the inner work alone. You don’t need to ‘fix’ yourself to start. Just bring your real self - I’ll meet you there.

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